How being abused makes you not a good person

I’m not saying that people who’ve been abused / betrayed aren’t good people; not saying that AT ALL. What I’m saying is that a person who has been used will forevermore give the world LESS of themselves. They’ll reserve themselves, trust less, and won’t risk as much on people as they once did.

Once you have been abused, or betrayed, or taken advantage of, you resolve to never make that mistake again. You withdraw some of your altruism from life and by withdrawing your generosity, you become less of a good person.

It’s deeper than just a cynicism of human nature. It goes to the quality of person you actually think you are, anymore.

Before my second marriage I felt that I was a good person.

Now I honestly don’t. And that is kind of a revelation to me because without serious thought, I didn’t really know about that particular stone in my shoe.

When somebody lies to you and takes advantage of you and makes you feel foolish, and you realize that the kindness that you showed was all part of a trick you decide that you don’t trust humanity anymore. You develop a cynicism. You lose your faith in certain Aspects of humanity.So you’re skin gets thicker and your cynicism worsens and you become jaded on the human race.

But it’s worse than that because (and this is what I was wondering about): why do you stop feeling like a good person?

This was my realization today.

When somebody gets you to stick your head in a noose and then hangs you with it, and you were trying to do the right thing, and you find out that people are cruel and take advantage and abuse kindnesses like that, you cannot help but withdraw that from the world.

I ask myself if I would ever adopt someone’s children to protect them from a bad parent again. And I know that I would not. Not under any circumstances.

In other words, now I am “that guy” who would leave children in harms way.

So no matter how I was taught that spirit breaking lesson, that altruism has been kicked out of me and I am not the good person that I was before. Not the good person who would step in and make a sacrifice as I was before.

That is why am not as good a person.

In fact, NOW? I would permit a lot of suffering before sticking my head in any legal noose on behalf of another person on the word of somebody that you are supposed to trust. Somebody who is supposed to be family. Somebody you’re married to.

Author: admin